“Surveyval” of the Fittest

October 22, 2010 at 2:15 am (Uncategorized)

As projects swoop down on us, clutching us in their cruel claws of deadlines, we find ourselves trying to come up with various forms of “Just in time” compilations. The stress behind each project holds true especially for projects which involve surveys. Surveys, those pesky creatures soliciting responses which seemingly require only “2 minutes” but end up being one of the biggest activities of the day (at least for people like me who believe only in divine intervention when it comes to scoring well in examinations) . Only those who can get reasonable responses shall live to see the light of day… the rest are left to indulge in fudging data and filling in counterfeit options so as to meet the requirements. Some of the common methods that exist to make others fill up surveys include:

i) Quid Pro Quo-The most common method , “Tu mera bhar, mein tera bharta Hoon”

ii) “Cross Sectional” Analysis– the smart ones do realise the fact that they might be doing a survey for the same product and thus club their surveys together. Thus leveraging economies of scale on relatives, friends etc. iii) The “Lottery Method”- Some dare to put their wallet at stake by offering a treat to a “Lucky respondent”. We need to actually audit whether anybody has ever been showered by lady luck in such claims.

Some Suggested Innovations to the survey collection mechanism:-

a) The Reverse Psychology Method

You open your mandevian mail account to see a mail marked “PLEASE DONT FILL THIS QUESTIONNAIRE” -chances are you will find yourself opening up the form to figure out the big deal about it. Reverse psychology might just work in your favour.

b) The “Provoking the Rebels”/ “The Contrarian”– “Filling this Questionnaire is not allowed and filling it will result in strict disciplinary action taken by the XYZ office”. Going by the number of defaulters, this method should generate decent numbers as well. Might also be referred to as “The 3 Idiots Method”.

c) The “Inception” method- Hiring skilled dream inceptors, to plant the seed of a thought in every mandevian’s mind that filling up ABC’s survey is his or her life’s only meaningful purpose. Requires substantial moolah, so unless you have access to the Student Council’s coffers, not advisable.

d) The Pre Session Assignment Method– The” Pre Session Assignments” that act as the proverbial pack of wolves amongst the unsuspecting herd of MDI fresh admits could be (and should be) moulded so as to make them collect surveys for different products. The data bearing rich dividends in the future (for the seniors of course).

 

P.S. If you like this article, please fill my survey too.   😛