Towering Costs to Felix’s freefall

Felix Baumgartner’s supersonic freefall from 24 miles up brought a lot of joy to mankind, allowing thinker and scientists to question the “limits” on what man can do while brand pundits and Ad agencies scrambled over each other to get this new Australian eyeball catcher into their kitty (“And he is good looking too, it’s almost as if he fell from heaven” as a representative of a top British Ad Agency put it)

Amidst all the hullabaloo, for 22 yr old Viroo’s family living in a village in the Sambalpur district of Orissa the snowballing media frenzy over the jump turned out to be a recipe for disaster when Viroo decided to take gravity into his own hands by jumping from the top of a telecom tower near his house, this gimmick to emulate the record breaking freefall was reportedly a bid to please his girlfriend.

On being approached for reactions, a financial analyst from the tower company lamented, “Ironically, this suicidal jump is the only utilization this tower has seen since our decision to put it up in the middle of a paddy field. The freefall in our profitability margins is similar to what Felix achieved and I am not sure whether we have a parachute”

TRAI has come forward to recognize this tragedy as a failure of the telecom companies to make the towers suicide proof, the regulatory body has given till the end of the week for all the towers to be removed across the country. As expected telcos have gone up in arms against this announcement but it has been seen as a jackpot for a Chinese firm which had come up with the revolutionary idea of a “roaming tower”. This tower is reportedly capable of moving around and would, in addition to preventing suicides, also finds a way around 3G roaming pact annulment by TRAI.

One of the telco has come forward with a special plan in remembrance of Viroo, they will apparently pay Viroo’s family and friends 30 paise per min for making a call. “This is the least we can do in Viroo’s memory”. Sales representatives from most telcos have been increasingly creative in acquiring new customers despite every phone owner on an average already having 2 sims. Another telco is rumoured to have been trying to cash in on the incident by releasing a VAS product wherein all usage from that tower would be free on a monthly recharge.

Market analysts are explaining the downward spiral of telecom stocks on Monday as a rational adjustment of market expectations post the incident.

In the meanwhile, Standard & Poor’s has rated the food at Saif-Kareena’s wedding as Junk. The stock markets are expected to see a tumble post this announcement.

1 Comment

  1. dhawalsah said,

    October 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    “Not sure if we hv a parachute” – naicee 🙂 .. Got confused if any of the news is real ;). . overall decent Attempt at dark humour.. Keep it up.

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